we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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