Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
