Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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