I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
