the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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