So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
tell me about the eggs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize