Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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