If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
