I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is this like a preordered booty call?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize