so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
