I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
