Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
