At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize