What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
