i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
