I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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