belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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