he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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