this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
