You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
