with your own penis?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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