You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
