Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
