i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
