I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
