Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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