Non-Jews are for practice
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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