would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
