Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
