Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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