They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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