she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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