is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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