South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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