Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
