After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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