A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
