I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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