I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
