Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
