just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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