Define "chronic" masturbator.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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