omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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