Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
