Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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