i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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