Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want her autograph on my taint
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
