Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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