I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
