you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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