duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
