dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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