don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
