I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
