So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
