so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
