One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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