Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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