i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
