Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
