Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
