i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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