hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
