he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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