Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
