I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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