9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
