I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
