I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
