I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
