but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
