i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize